About Me

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Married, mother of 3, grandmother of 3. I have a 27 year old son that is the Bud-Man(Budweiser delivery driver), I have a 22 year old son that is in the Army National Guard, works full-time for the Guard and attends MTSU as a full-time student, I have a 17 year old a drama queen :)that is a senior in High School,she is also on the swim team.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Just Call Me Cupcake

My husband loves these. I don't make them often because I really want him to appreciate them when I do. They are so moist and yummy and a relatively healthy alternative to other cakes.


Carrot Pumpkin Cupcakes

1 box of carrot cake mix
1 can of pumpkin
1/3 cup of water

Preheat oven to 350

Mix all ingredients
together, batter will be thick.

Pour into 24 paper-lined muffin cups

Bake 15 to 18 minutes

Let cupcakes cool completely then frost


Light Cream Cheese Frosting

1/4 cup sugar
2 tbsp orange juice
1 egg white
1 cup low fat cream cheese , softened (8 oz package)
1/2 tsp grated orange peel
1/2 tsp vanilla extract


 
In 1-cup glass measuring cup, microwave sugar and orange juice for 1 minute; stir.

In small bowl, using electric mixer at high speed, beat egg white until soft peaks form; gradually add sugar mixture in a thin stream. Continue beating at high speed until mixture is thick and glossy, about 4 minutes; scrape bowl occasionally.

In medium bowl, using same beaters at high speed, beat cream cheese, orange peel and vanilla until light and fluffy, about 5 minutes; scrape bowl occasionally.

Add 1/3 of egg white mixture to cream cheese mixture, beating at low speed, just until blended. Using a rubber spatula, gently fold in remaining egg white mixture until it is completely blended into cream cheese mixture.


Frost muffins and store covered in refrigerator

Top with chopped nuts



You can also replace the carrot cake mix with a chocolate cake mix!

What Happened To Forever?

Words are so easy to come by, no one seems to care about the effort it takes to follow through with those words.

The statistic speak volumes -The marriage rate for Tennessee in 2007 was 10.1 per 1,000 population, divorce statistics - 4.3 per 1,000 population.

This may leave some wondering the reason behind the FACT that nearly half of all marriages end in divorce these days...What is happening to our family structure? Some people blame the internet. As if it is going to be the downfall of society?

However, when you look at the statistic rates of marriages in 1990 you will find that not much has changed - Tennessee Marriage - 13.9 per 1,000 population....the divorce statistics - 6.5 per 1,000. Hmmmm?

Do not throw that computer out just yet! Things are practially the same as they were before there was a computer (or two) in every home.

Could it be the fact that some marry too early, marry for the wrong reasons, or is it just human nature to never be happy?

I googled recipe for a happy marriage just for kicks and giggles...sigh....if only it where this easy.

Recipe For A Happy Marriage


Author Unknown


4 cups of Love
2 cups of Loyalty
Dash of Faith
3 cups of Kindness
4 cups of Understanding
1 cup of Friendship
5 spoonfuls of Hope
1 barrel of Laughter
Pinch of Forgiveness (no substitutions)
Dash of Thoughtfulness (not optional)


Take love and loyalty and mix thoroughly with faith.
Blend in kindness and understanding, add friendship and hope.
Sprinkle abundantly with laughter. Garnish with forgiveness and thoughtfulness.
Bake with sunshine.
Serve daily with generous helpings

Warm Days and Chili Nights

It's the last day of September. The days are warm but the nights are chilly! If you are like me, It's tank tops and shorts during the day, sweatshirts and jeans at night. Especially on Fridays. Avoiding the fast food crap that a lot of people choose before the high school football games. I usually put on a pot of chili. Sometimes I serve these with smoked turkey sausages on whole wheat buns...or it's fabulous just in a bowl with your favorite toppings! I like to use pinto beans because I really hate the firm texture of red beans, the choice is yours though! You can actually cook this on top of the stove in less time. Also, the turkey can be replaced with super lean ground beef. It's the most versatile recipe I have! Throw in extra chili powder or jalapenos for more kick!



Crock Pot Turkey Chili
Ingredients

1.3 lb (20 oz) fat free ground turkey breast


1 small onion, chopped


1 (28 oz) can diced tomatoes


1 (16 oz) can tomato sauce


1 (4.5 oz) can chopped chilies, drained

3 (15.5 oz) cans of pinto beans (or you can use black, red, or a combination)

2 tbsp chili powder


1/2 teaspoon dried parsley


1 teaspoon salt


3/4 teaspoon dried basil


3/4 teaspoon dried oregano


1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper


1/8 teaspoon hot pepper sauce





Directions

Brown turkey in a skillet, breaking it up as it cooks


Place all ingredients in crock pot, cover


Cook on low for 6-8 hours





Optional

top with your favorite toppings, 2% cheddar, whole wheat crackers, chopped onions, jalapenos

Falling Off My Soap Box

How many times will I make improvements in my life, only to get discouraged and revert back to my old ways.? Gain weight, lose weight, give up smoking and drinking. Vow to eat healthy and clean.

It's never an easy adjustment to make better choices, but it seems so easy to falter. Within a few months, I usually end up in the gutter surrounded by the things that I gave up at an early date. Cigarette butts, empty beer cans, diet soda bottle, candy wrappers, and artifical sweetener packets.

When I was younger, I bounced back sooner, the weight just melted off, the beer belly gone with a week of sit-ups, if I didn't smoke for a week I could run a marathon. Aches and pain disappeared within days of ditching the diet sodas, artifical sweeteners, and processed foods. These days...not so much :(

Yet I sit here thinking...that's it, the end of the pity party. As soon as I get back from the beach next week I'm going to give all those things up again. I will not be frustrated when things don't change at the pace that I think that they should.

I am debating whether to take it one step, one bad habit at a time...or just jump in with both feet? Start with the worst and gradually working my way to better health.

First thing first, I am gonna dust off that gym membership, dig out my tennis shoes, polish up my resolution, sweat pants are gonna be just for that....not a sad excuse for my fat pants. Then I am gonna climb back up on that soap box and start preaching the evil of bad habits, the recipes that I post will be healthy...I know you guys can't wait, lol!


As for today...It's Friday and I'm going to the store for my drink and my smokes :)

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Oven Fried Chicken Fingers

Chicken recipe from the back of a bisquick box? No way I would feed my family that...until I did :) It is delicious and even more important...easy!!! It takes about ten minutes to put it together, and about 15 minutes in the oven.... HELLZ YEAH!

2/3 cup Original Bisquick mix
                                                                                               

1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
 
1/2 teaspoon salt or garlic salt                                           
 
1/2 teaspoon paprika
                                                                                                                                           
3 boneless skinless chicken breast halves, cut crosswise into 1/2-   inch strips                                           
                                                                                               
1 egg, slightly beaten                                           
                                                                                               
3 tablespoons butter or margarine, melted 
 
 
Heat oven to 450ºF. Line cookie sheet with foil; spray with cooking spray.   
 
Mix Bisquick mix, cheese, salt and paprika in 1-gallon ziplock baggie. Dip half the chicken strips into egg; place in bag of Bisquick mixture. Seal bag; shake to coat. Place chicken on cookie sheet. Repeat with remaining chicken. Drizzle with butter/margarine
Bake 12 to 14 minutes, turning about halfway...6 to 7 minutes, until no longer pink in center.
                                  
      
 
 
Link to coupons for bisquick and a lot of other things       http://www.bettycrocker.com/coupons-promotions/coupons/default                                                                               

Strangers In The Night....Nope, It's Just Facebook

Dear Facebook,

Isn't it bad enough, the things I do to make myself look stupid? Why have you decided to make me look like a total jackass (see pic below)?

I never see my friends witty little comments anymore. Did everyone abandon ship and leave me to drown alone...or is this some sick game of hide and seek?

I know I should get out and meet more people, but I like MY PEOPLE, do you really feel it necessary to allow me to comment on some strangers posting because one of my step uncle, daughters, cousins, nephews, niece happen to like it? ( Really just my cousin, but you know what I mean!)

Then to add insult to injury, I get notified everytime someone (also that I don't know) comments on this posting. Still can't see my friend's comments and post, but I see her friend's comments and post!

I just want you to know that I thought we had a good thing, but if you continue to embarrass me in this fashion, we are going to be through! I have enough problems in my life without you adding to them.

Love,
Me

Excitement In The Air

I love fall...The crispness in the air, the start of bonfires, fall festivals, corn mazes, and taking my grandchildren to the pumpkin patch. Haunted houses that my children love, though I refuse to go. I can't wait to decorate the yard for Halloween, the hay bales, cornstalks, and pumpkins that are carved into Jack-o-lanterns. It's the smell of my favorite spiced pumpkin candle burning in the kitchen, the small little bowls of candy corn and peanuts sitting around the house. Pumpkin spice lattes. Just thinking about these things lighten my mood.

Candy Corn and Peanut Mix (taste like Payday candy bars)

1 1/2 lbs of candy corn (I buy this up at the end of the year and freeze it)

2 1/2 lbs peanuts

Mix together in a large bowl. Place a few small bowls around the house.  Keep the rest in a sealed container and refill as necessary.

Some people add M&M's, and I have even seen some recipes that make cookies out of this mixture.

Pumpkin Spice Latte
2 cups milk
2 tablespoons canned pumpkin OR 1 teaspoon of  Pumpkin Spice Syrup (your choice)
2 tablespoons sugar or sugar substitute
2 tablespoons vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
1-2 shots espresso (about 1/4 cup of espresso or 1/2 cup of strong brewed coffee if you don't have an espresso machine.)

In a saucepan combine milk, pumpkin and sugar and cook on medium heat, stirring, until steaming. Remove from heat, stir in vanilla and spice, transfer to a blender and process for 15 seconds until foamy. If you don't have a blender, don't worry about it - just whisk the mixture really well with a wire whisk.
Pour into a large mug or two mugs. Add the espresso on top.


Optional: Top with whipped cream and sprinkle pumpkin pie spice, nutmeg, or cinnamon.

For those of you in the Nashville area, there are several pumpkin patches around. These are a couple of my favorites...plus I love supporting locals :)

http://www.luckyladdfarms.com/

http://www.waldenfarm.biz/




My favorite spiced pumpkin candle by far is from Yankee Candle, although sometimes I just pick up a few of the smaller, less expensive ones from the dollar store or Wal-mart.

http://www.yankeecandle.com/

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Seeking Truth In A World Of Lies

Lie to me, that's okay. Think that I'll believe the needless words you say. No one else ever called you out? No one ever question your motives? I am not everyone else. Telling the truth isn't always easy. Saying what is on my mind, one word at a time, because if I didn't...Would I be any better than you?

Have you ever stopped and wondered why you feel the need to tell half truths? Have you ever searched deep inside your soul for the reasons behind the out right lies? Why do you do the things that you do? You know, the things that you shouldn't, the things that you are ashamed of. The things that you don't want me to know about. The things that hurt me the most.

Reach down deep, into the depths of your mind and heart. I see through the mirage. I know what you want, miss, need and what you love. I will not be forgotten. I will not be ignored, I am there lurking in the shadows, waiting for you to put your head on the pillow. Waiting to confront you when you least expect it. You won't always be able to change the subject..to disregard the echos in your head. I will not be denied.

What is important to you? Your family, your friends, your job? Nothing will ever stop that continual need for answers. The answers that only you can give. Only you can make things right. Only you can come clean. Honesty isn't that hard. The misery will only grow, once the seeds of doubt are planted in the fertile soil.

Some of will wonder what this is about. Is this written for her husband, for her children, or herself? Is she asking for the truth or forgiveness? Has she lost all sense of reality? Has she lost faith, hope, the excitement of what the future holds? Or.... could these be questions that I need to ask myself?


Ponder it...seek the answers and you will know. The truth lies just below the surface, waiting to be discovered, to be realized. The truth won't wait forever. You can't mislead or be misled. The choice is yours to make.

A Look Inside My Busy Life

These days, you can usually find me busy doing not much of anything. I can't get anything done because it seems to interfere with my not doing a damn thing.

It's actually really overwhelming and way harder than you might think. I start a lot of stuff and finish little. In my house you will quite a few things that are in progress. The kitchen table is littered with assorted things that are screaming to be finished...or even just abandoned and trashed, but I am not a quitter!

I find it slightly amusing that since quitting my paying job last year...(I know, I said I wasn't a quitter...I lied!) there are the calls texts from my busy family/friends (you know the ones that are actually productive members of society.) Could you please meet someone here or there. Go do this for me, and would you mind? My mouth is saying sure, no problem... but my mind is screaming...leave me alone! How can I get my nothing done if I have to do that?

It's never anything big and the normal person wouldn't give it a second thought... I, however, am far from normal. I hate talking on the phone, I hate scheduling appointments. I don't wanna go to the electric company or to take cars through emission control. I don't wanna meet the cable guy, the contractor or the exterminator... I won't even answer the doorbell at my house.

I haven't always been this way. It's been a gradual process. The culmination of events having occurred while I was working, raising my children, and yes, even socializing with actual human beings.

I am sure that there is some type of diagnois for this evident and obvious personality disorder. I am even pretty sure that this may be a treatable condition. But that would require using the phone to call and schedule a doctor appointment, actually keeping the appointment, talking to the receptionist, the nurse, the doctor, explaining in detail the problem, going to a pharmacy for what I know would be some type of medication...and worst of all...following through and following up.

The fact still remains that I am way to busy doing nothing to do what needs to be done. Speaking of doing nothing...there is still so much to be done!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Death By Chocolate

If I gotta go...this is the way it should be.....Just saying :)




Death By Chocolate
1 (18.25 ounce) package German chocolate cake mix
1 (3.9 ounce) package instant chocolate pudding mix
1 2/3 cups milk
3/4 cup strong brewed coffee
1 (12 ounce) container frozen whipped topping, thawed
6 (1.4 ounce) bars chocolate covered toffee bars, frozen and crushed


 
In a 9x13 in pan, bake cake according to package directions. Cool and crumble. Make pudding, according to package directions, with milk.
In a large trifle or other glass serving bowl, place half of the crumbled cake. Pour half of the coffee over the cake, and spread half of the pudding over that. Top with half of the whipped topping, sprinkled with half the crumbled candy bars. Repeat layers in the same order. Refrigerate until serving.

White Bean and Sausage Soup For The Scatter-brain Mind

I had planned to grill sausages for dinner tonight. Went out to light the grill and noticed that I hadn't turned off one of the burners when I used it on Thursday night. A brand new tank of propane had burned up and I have no idea how long it had taken. Funny thing...early Saturday morning I went outside just before dawn, I had turned on the flood lights and thought that I saw smoke drifting up from the grill. I sat there in the dark watching it and wondering why this was happening. Just as I started to get up and check it out...the thought left my mind and I never investigated the source. So I know that it burned for two nights at least.

These things are starting to become routine in my life. Just a couple weeks ago, the oven never got turned on and I had a chicken and rice casserole in the oven for an hour and a half...dinner that night was thrown in the microwave. The chicken was rubbery and the rice was crunchy. I needed to think fast and redeem myself tonight. When my husband came home, I really didn't wanna tell him that not only had I wasted a whole tank of gas by leaving the grill on....but that his dinner was going to be rubberized Italian Sausage.

I went inside and started frantically looking through my recipes....sausages, sausages....ugh! What in the hell am I gonna do with sausages? It was at this point I remembered a recipe that my dear ex-boss had given me several years ago. He had had brought it for us for lunch and we all loved it so much that he photocopied the recipe for us. I finally found it folded in my wallet. Don't ask me why because I have no idea.

My husband enjoyed it so much, the consequences where limited to a few huffs and one sigh. During dinner, which was served in the den, he went into the kitchen for a second serving....It was at this point that he asked if the glass of ice sitting next to the opened 2 liter bottle of Diet Pepsi belonged to me. I forgot that I was thirsty....Now it's my turn to sigh.

As a thanks for allowing me to share my sad story....I'm gonna share the recipe too.

Sausage and White Bean Soup

2 Tbs. EVOO
1 1/2 lb sweet or hot Italian sausage in the casing
2 lbs thinly sliced prosciutto ham, minced
2 medium onions in medium dice
2 medium carrots peeled and in medium dice
2 medium celery in medium dice
1 tsp dried thyme leaves
3 15.8 cans great northern or other white beans,
   undrained
1 quart chicken broth


Heat oil in large, deep saute' pan or soup kettle over medium heat. When pan is hot, add sausages; cook, turning once or twice until well browned on all sides, about 5 minutes. (Sausages will not be fully cooked at this point.)
Remove from pan. When cool enough to handle, cut into slices 1/4 inch thick. Add prosciutto, onions, carrots, celery, and thyme to the empty skillet; cook, stirring often, until well browned, 8 to 10 minutes. In a small bowl, mash 1 can of beans with a fork into a chunky puree. Add broth, whole and mashed beans, and sausage; cover and bring to a simmer. Reduce heat to medium-low; simmer, partially covered, to blend flavors, 20 minutes.

Come To The Dark Side... I Have Cookies

Just Kidding...But I do have a yummy recipe :)

Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies

2 cups sugar
1/3 cup Hershey's cocoa
1 stick margarine/butter
1/2 cup milk
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup peanut butter
3 cups oats

Before you start...line your counter top with wax paper!!!!!!!!!!!!
In a medium/large saucepan bring butter, cocoa, milk and sugar to a boil. Boil for 1 minute. Remove from heat and add peanut butter, oats, and vanilla extract. Drop onto wax paper with a tablespoon. Let sit until firm.

May I Have Your Attention Please!

I was up early this morning, not really unusual. I generally just stay in my room until the house is clear. I can't follow the conversations that tend to take place before my fifth cup of coffee, and prefer my people to leave me notes. This morning however, I was sitting here with my laptop. Kait comes in and this is how the conversation goes...

Kait: "good morning momma"

Me: "morning Pumpkin" (in my mind...hmmm, where did I see that coupon for Fiber One bars?)

Kait: is it cold outside?

Me: I think so (yeah, I'm sure it was on the coupon clippers facebook site)

Kait: "do I need a jacket?"

Me: "huh? no, that's not it!" (where was that damn coupon?)

Kait: "a jacket mom...is it cold enough for a jacket?"

Me: "oh...I don't know" (shit...I just saw it a few minutes ago!)

Kait: "can I wear your Alabama hoodie?"

Me: "ummm hmmm" (coupon, coupon, coupon)

Kait: "where is it?"

Me:  "where's what?...have you seen my coffee?"

Kait: "your coffee is right there....MOTHER focus...where is your sweatshirt?"

Me: "do not yell at me young lady, I can not find this coupon."

Kait: "what coupon? what are you talking about?"

Me: " crap! I don't remember." (maybe I can check my history to see what I was looking for)

Kait: "wow! mom really?...can you tell me where I should look for the hoodie?"

ME: "what hoodie?"

Kait "never mind...can I get some money out of your wallet? I wanna go to the mall with some friends after school."

Me: "yeah" (getting up to check my coupon envelope)

Kait: "there's no money in here"

Me: "no there isn't...what do you need money for?" (money? wait, what?)

Kait: "I told you I was going to the mall after school"

Me: "no you didn't and I don't have any cash" (yogart, cereal, frozen veggies)

Kait: "ugh, yes I did! I'm going to school!"

Me: "there it is!" (yes!!! Fiber One brownies!)

Kait: "what is? your jacket was hanging by the door"

Me: "my coupon...the coupon I was looking for"(do we need cereal?)

Kait: "oh okay"

Me: "wait...why are you wearing my jacket?"

Kait: "I'm not talking to you anymore...you're impossible"

Link to the kellogg's website.  $1.00 manufacturer coupon on Fiber Plus Cereal http://www2.kelloggs.com/

Faking Spontaneity

My husband and I will celebrate our one year wedding anniversary on the 4th of October. Actually, we have been together for over 20 years and we were married sometime in August of 1994...please don't ask me the exact date. I have our original marriage license somewhere....I don't want to have to dig it out! You may be thinking that has something to do with my recent short-term memory loss. Not so. I could not have told you the date 6 months after it happened 17 years ago, long before I started forgetting things. That might seem like a problem, some of you probably think that this might offend my husband....right? I assure you that it doesn't, he can't remember it either.

Our divorce was final sometime in 2010 and we remarried the same year. Does that even count really? I think so. It is like a fresh start. Right?

The package that he ordered and told me to be expecting arrived yesterday. My surprise was a new laptop battery and a charger. I really needed these and I am thrilled to get them. Those of you that were betting on the practical gift, don't go counting your winnings just yet. That was only part of the gift. I was blown away with the rest....4 days, 3 nights trip to the beach! I should put my swimsuit in the car now! It's taken many years, but I think I have finally gotten him trained! I would like to think that he has finally loosened up and this is an attempt at spontaneity....I'm pretty sure though that he has been planning this for awhile and is just now telling me...whatever... it works! I don't mind if he fakes it!  

Monday, September 26, 2011

Subject of Derision

There are some days that I think I have a kick me sign on my back. I keep glancing over my shoulder, just knowing that it is there! I have come to the realization that it is actually just invisible to me...but trust me, plenty of people see it!

It actually started in elementary school. Growing up with a single mother, supermom, but single none the less. We were poor, although mom worked 2 to 3 menial jobs at any given time. She did what she could do with assistance from the state. I remember the first time I was tormented in school. I was in the fourth grade...and apparently while the state thought that shoes were a necessity, socks were not. So yeah...I was teased, talked about, picked on, the whole nine yards.

As time passed, I became more and more shy. By the time I reached middle school, or junior high as it was known back in the day. My mom had remarried, and while things slightly improved, they were far from perfect. Mom was always there with words of wisdom. encouragement and love. The most important things a parent could give....but somewhere along the way, I never gain self confidence. I was an awkward young girl. I blushed easily and did what I could to avoided any attention. Being teased at the bus-stop one day, I finally struck back...I mean that literally. I shoved my umbrella up a boy's nose. I didn't mean for that to happen. I didn't even intend to hit him with it. I had just had enough. It was supposed to be a warning for him to back up off of me! I felt horrible about it, and still do, even though he obviously survived. I was then targeted for this, I couldn't win for losing. There were kids that thought I should be ashamed of myself, and made it their goal to make sure that I was. Didn't need it but thanks anyway!

By the time I reached high school, financially my parents were just above the poverty line. That was a huge improvement. Still they had to watch what they spent and had little extra. I had asked them if I could try out for the color guard my first year in high school. It was quite expensive and I was pushing my luck wanting to do it. Never the less, my parents agreed. I should have realized it was a bad idea when the shoes that I needed for my "Friday Suit" were ridiculous in price. Mom found some at a discount shoe store and that is what she could afford...so that is what I got. They were the black and white saddle oxfords alright, but instead of the thin, tan, leather soles, these had thick, white, rubber soles. Yep, you guessed it...the ridicule commenced!


Being an adult is a lot less challanging. People are more sensitive.... or better at talking behind others backs. It helps that I never leave the house! I am living in my own little world and it is a nice place to be at times. Sure...I get lonely...but even the most popular people do. I understand now that the damage done to me by my school aged peers have made me the person that I am today. Some people love me and truly get me, others, not so much. Either way, I am cool with that...and my mother is my hero.

All Is Fair In Love and ....

I'm writing this blog using the trial and error method. It's the same way that I have lived my life. I am lucky in the sense that blogger charts everything that I do in order for me to see what actually works, and yes my friends, what usually bombs. I have read all the tips for new bloggers, how to be successful, do this, don't do that. Every new article that I read is a contradiction of the last. As usual, things that work for one....not so much for the next. Hmmm.... very  reminiscent of life.


Here is what I have figured out! If I am not writing and posting...no one is reading....the same is true for my life, If I am not talking and making a lot of noise, no one pays attention to me! So, I will continue to worry the hell out of y'all!




What really seems to work is teasers, now either y'all are perverts, or you guys know me well, and know that you can never tell what I am going to say next! Either way...I love it! Perverts are very interesting folks...as long as they don't get in my personal space, I really don't mind. Now when I say perverts don't bother me...I am not talking about criminal pervents, so those of you that just got their panties in a wad...breathe and relax! Same thing applies in life...Gals that tease get the most attention.



Post about my daily screw-ups seem to work better than informative ones. Just as I thought...when I try to get people to learn from my mistakes...doesn't work. When I tell them the crazy shit that happens to me almost daily, they laugh their asses off! It's okay, I am clumsy and it's funny, you just can't make this shit up! Nothing is better than real life.



And last but not least....same as in life, I work better after a beer Twisted Tea. Some of you might think that you now know why I am clumsy or even why this stuff always happens to me. NOT TRUE! It happens anyway...regardless of whether I have had a couple sips here and a few sips there. Now before any of you stage an intervention...I am not a drunk! I don't have to drink, and most of the time I don't. I just seem to find when things are falling apart or I am falling down....It's funnier after a little nip!



I do wonder just how much to share, and wonder who is going to be offended by what? What interests one person, probably bores the next. So, I have decided that all is fair is love and blogging. I am just gonna do what I do and see what happens! My only wish is to have a statistic chart for life!



 

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Bored? Some Fun, Free Online Games And Puzzles To Try!

Bored...Kait and I have been doing this...It took us both to figure it out ;)
http://www.robmathiowetz.com/
I am a mahjong freak. I did play it on pogo, but when I stopped paying for it, I couldn't play it on the free version, so for those of you that love it ...

http://www.addictinggames.com/puzzle-games/pandasmahjongsolitaire.jsp

The link to pogo. It's pretty cool too.
http://www.pogo.com/

A lot of these free game site make you watch advertisements, but that's ok...they're free!

Dirty Talk

Chill out people...gosh, It's not what ya think! Put away the Holy Water!

My hubby has learned lately, that if he really wants my attention I am gonna need to hear those 3 little words...Beach Front Condo, but I mean really...sometimes Hot Fudge Sundae works too! Sex on the beach better involve alcohol...and whipped cream is best on a cup of Starbucks coffee. Yeah...that's hot!

Speaking of coffee, while we were traveling yesterday, my husband hit a bump and I spilled my salted caramel mocha down the front of my shirt. I thought thats it...there is no way that I am going to get this out! It was just a cotton tank but it was my favorite cotton tank. We got home a few hours later and I was looking for something to pretreat it with. I knew the stuff that I normally used was not gonna touch this mess! I found a bottle of Resolve Multi-Fabric upholstery cleaner. Looking at the mess on the shirt, I figured I may as well give it a try. So I sprayed it down and let it sit overnight, I figured the worst thing that could happen is that I would have to throw it out. I got up this morning and popped it in the wash. I was super excited to find it had completely removed the stain and not harmed the fabric at all! Now I wouldn't try this unless you are faced with a similar situation. But it worked amazingly! I am gonna try it later on a few shirts that my husband has ruined at work! I'll let y'all know how it does!

link to resolve coupon
http://goo.gl/bVkaD



Saturday, September 24, 2011

And Your Point Is?

There are those that wish for the fountain of youth, to win the lottery, to save the world, or become a rockstar. I mean really, who doesn't have some type of unrealistic/unrealized hopes and dreams? They slather on all types of lotions, potions, and creams. They spend their hard earned dollar on the slim to none chance of becoming a bizzillionaire. Hug a tree or dance around in front of the mirror, screeching into the hairbrush microphone. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one to judge....I always sometimes  do those things too.

Oh yeah...trust me when I tell you this, I have spent more money on the lotions to keep my face from falling onto the floor, than I feel comfortable sharing. I rarely buy a lottery ticket, I am just not that lucky. I don't dream of singing in front of a large, screaming crowd...I am simply not gifted in the vocal department, I do try not to be wasteful but let me be honest here...If anyone fell into my carbon footprint, I am sure that they would never be seen again. So in all reality, I can't afford to be wasteful anymore.

I have learned to live with all of my wrinkles, bags, stretchmarks and sags, At the end of the day, who really cares? There are several things that I hate about growing older. The worst being the fact that my memory sucks, there are days when I could hide my own Easter eggs. Seriously, I spend a lot of time wandering around trying to figure out what in the hell it was that I got up to do. Most the time it's something simple like go to the bathroom. One sneeze and I am jolted back into reality! I have tried all the vitamins and memory boosting herbal remedies. Changing my diet and exercising, I have tried notes and I forget to look at them, that is if I can even find them. Setting my phone timer and inevitably I will forget one step and it never goes off. I have seriously considered tying a string around my finger. I have no idea what makes me think I would know what the damn string is for.

Okay let's see....What was the point of this story? I'm not really sure where I am going with this. Unfortunately, when I started writing I did. Wow! Oh well, I have to laugh at myself otherwise I would be sitting, curled up in a ball, crying my eyes out! Ain't life grand?

Friday, September 23, 2011

I Never Promised You A Rose Garden

Sitting at dinner tonight, a guy came by carrying a bunch of flowers. I know...silly me, for a second I actually thought...nevermind, that is too embarrassing to even put in print. We were sitting in a nice resturant and the guy breezed right past our table to the very next one. I am talking a lot of flowers, double armful He walked to the table and asked for Jenny. He handed her the whole bunch. As they were spilling out of her arms and onto the floor, I actually entertained the tought of snatching the ones off the floor! Surely, I was not the only disappointed lady in the bunch.

Sensing my disappointment, my husband told me that he had planted all of my flowers in the yard, in the spring I have lillies and peoines, the summer roses, and in the fall I have mums. I smiled that smile, the one that only I know the meaning behind. Keep in mind he can read my blogs, although I doubt he will.

Redeeming himself and saving the evening, he asked me if I had seen a package that he was expecting. I told him I hadn't and asked him what he had ordered. He told me it was a surprise and that he couldn't tell me. WELL NOW, surprise? Really?

Stay tuned to find out what my surprise is!!! He told me it should arrive Monday. I'm taking bets...leave a comment and tell me what you think... will it be sometime luxurious that I will really love, or will it be sometime practical that I really need?

Who Does That?

Most people sleep like a baby when it raining right? Well leave it to me to be the odd woman out! I mean really...who does that? Somehow I can just sense the damn rain. Doesn't matter if I am sound asleep and it sneaks in like a thief in the night. Once I am awake,  first thing that I do, regardless of the time of morning, is turn on the coffee pot. I made coffee at 2:45 this morning. My husband loves this because it means that when he gets up at 5, there is usually one very strong, luke-warm cup left at the bottom of the pot. He can usually finds me sitting, staring out of the window or sitting on the covered deck. No matter how much resistance I put up with my body, somehow my mind always wins... and I inevitably end up standing at the counter, watch the coffee drip into the pot.

This morning I actually pissed off the cat too! Yeah, she also agrees....there is something seriously wrong with me. She stopped her gentle snoring and  raised up from her Petstages Flashing Firefly Mat that she sleeps on and gave me the strangest look. She loves me see, so she walks over to the chair that I am sitting in a nudges me a few times. I am not really sure what she is trying to do....maybe she wants me to go back to bed? It didn't take long before she was back on her mat....snoring away, just like my husband. I can't help being jealous. Especially on the weekends when no one rolls out of bed until 8 or 9:00.

I have always had trouble sleeping, I remember as a child laying awake all night. It has only gotten worse with age. I figure by the time I hit 50...I am going to be stark raving mad! Yay....Something to look forward too! Anyone out there have any suggestions? Anything? I'm desperate at this point :(

Free Of Charge

Shortly after turning seventeen, I learned that I was pregnant. I still look back and wonder how that happened. It was one time and I had watched my mother's failed attempts at conceiving. I was painfully shy, and anytime the subject of "the birds and bees" came up with my mother, I would turn a shade of red that rivaled the shiniest new traffic light. I would agree to anytime that she said, just so she would think that she got her point across. I thought I knew everything, just a most teenagers. Boy was I wrong!

Justin was born shortly before I turned eighteen. Because we did not have insurance, I would go to the clinic for my prenatal visits, my appointment being at eight am, and I would be there the entire day, hundreds of women with the same exact appointment. I labored in a room that could accommodate around twelve women, gave birth in an creepy, old hospital. No epidural, they were teaching birth control the hard way! The worst thing however, was the fact that my mother was not allowed to be present. As they were preparing us for labor, they taught us the standard natural childbirth techniques, how to breathe, how. to count, how to time the contractions. They told us to bring an object that we could use as a focal point . Everything was going to be fine. By the time my son was born, I had cursed out everyone that looked like they might be in the medical field, insisted that my husband stand in the hallway, drag anyone wearing white into the room, demanding that they give me something for pain. I had broken one side of the stir-ups that they had strapped me to, and was trying to kick the doctor with it. I had even dismembered the poor stuffed animal that was being used as my focal point. It is a wonder that they didn't put me in a padded cell on a forty-eight hour hold!

I passed the birth-control class with flying colors, I didn't have another child for six years. My mother tried to teach me the things that I needed to know in order to make my life easier. She loved me and wanted the best for me. She offered me her love and knowledge free of charge. Of course I refused to accept her words of wisdom, and have continually done things the hard way through out my life. Funny, I still wonder where my children get this ridiculous desire to screw up things!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

You Want My What?

I am the world worst procrastinator. It's a fact. I will sit here with my laptop until about an hour before my husband comes home from work. Sure I might throw in a load of laundry, load the dishwasher, but generally I browse the net. I love to read. It's what I do. But an hour before the hubby gets here...It's full-steam ahead!

Last year I asked for a Nook for my birthday and I was so excited to get it. I absolutely love it, There are all kinds of free ebooks and for the first 6 months, I seriously did not put it down. Well, I have been a little busy these day. Swimming, hanging out with my family and friends. So I haven't really touched it much since July. I must admit that I am not that great with technology, but it is fairly easy to use. I've been thinking about dusting it off lately and possibly downloading a few free true life mystery books. That's where the procrastinating comes in. The days just somehow seem to get away from me and I don't know where they went.

Yesterday, Kait comes in and asks me where my Nook is! I started to protest, but she was right in the fact that I haven't used it much lately. Yes, I purposely hide my most valued possessions. You know things like, my favorite tweezers, my mascara, my small pearl earrings... oh...and my heating pad. Otherwise, they vanish...never to be seen again. And no one has a clue where they ran off to. Nobody messes with the dishes, or the vacuum, not even the duster. But you leave a ionic straightner layning around and "poof" it's good and gone! So anyway, Kait wants to borrow my Nook. She can download a book that she needs for school and it will cost so much less....I mean some people may fall for that, but I happen to know that this child has no clue as to the value of a dollar. She just wants my Nook :( I don't blame her!

Oops I Did It Again

Last night after I finished up the dinner dishes, I pulled the coffee maker out, to prepare coffee for the next day, got the filters and the coffee canister out. It was then that I realized that the night before I had made coffee and had emptied the canister with a promise to myself, that at some point during the day I would refill it. Didn't happen. So I dug around in the cabinets and finally located the coffee, at this point I was slightly more than a little annoyed! While I was putting the filter in the pot I realized that I had a hard water ring around the inside of my maker. Distracted by this, I misjudged the height of the pot, hit the edge with the coffee scoop and coffee spilled on the counter and into the floor. So I had to prioritize, the hard water ring would have to wait!



This morning as I was drinking my, I remembered that I had a doctor appointment and so I finished it up and got a shower. I decided to put some cleaner in it and turn it on while I was out. When I got home, I noticed water all over the kitchen counter and dripping down onto the floor. I hadn't pushed the pot all the way in and the sneak-a-cup feature was still engaged....UGH!!! Got all that cleaned up and opened the pot to find that the ring was still there! So my gpal for tomorrow is to check out the amazing assortment of coffee makers on roaste.com and find a new one. Somethings just can not be saved :)


The selection on everything from the coffee, coffee makers and accessories is a coffee drinkers dream come true. You can even get a subscription for the coffee and it will be delivered right to your house. In my opinion....that beats a magazine everyday, all day long!

Do Not Piss Off The Princess

I had to run out to the store last night to pick up a few things that I had neglected to get while I was out earlier in the day. I didn't really want to go out because I had a long day, what with going to the doctor, tripping over the mountainous pile of laundry that Kait had left in the hallway, doing research for this blog, trying to keep up with personal messages from friends on Facebook, check my e-mail, and making dinner. As my family arrived home from school and work, I must usually feign interest in their day. That's right...I said that! It's okay, I am a terrible actress and this is not going to come as a surprise to them :) By the end of the day my thoughts are random and scattered. Sometimes it is all that I can do finish my own sentences. It's not that I am not interested in whatever is being said, it is just that at some point, things just simply stop making sense to me.

As I come back from my late evening trip to the store. I hear Kait and her boyfriend in livingroom, fussing while playing the wii. This has become a nightly ritual with them and they can get very boisterous.... to put it mildly. Kait being her usual dramatic self says to me "MOMMA, MAKE CHRISTIAN LEAVE ME ALONE!". Of course, I failed to realize that this was all part of the ritual and asked her sincerely, what the problem was? She just kinda giggled and said he's annoying me! It took me a few seconds sit my stuff down but then I walked in the livingroom put my hands on my hips, and give Christian the look, yeah you know what I am talking about...that look, and then proceeded to give my standard line that I give to everyone that annoys Kait, and trust me there are many that do.."Please do not piss off the princess". Some may think that it because she is a tad bit spoiled, and while this may be true, the main reason that I prefer people to not ruffle her feathers, is because if she isn't happy, my world can become a living nightmare! In the evening, having the attention span of a two year old can become a huge obstacle, combine that with the codeine cough medicine the doctor prescribed for me and ya may as well stick a fork in me because I am done :)

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Creating a Successful Cleaning Service Business

It is possible to start with very little investment and grow your service business at an incredible speed. I started with a mop, bucket, broom, vacuum, and a sad old truck....and yes my children, and even my mother! I am gonna give you the tips to that I used to get started.

Come up with a catchy name for your buisness

Get a business license

Get insurance

Advertise...the best way to accomplish that these days is through Craigslist, Facebook, Twitter and other social networking sites. I also purchased magnetic signs for the doors of my truck.

Call other cleaning services about the possibility of doing contract work for them. Sometimes these companies can not keep enough quality employees to accomplish the work that they have.

Get an appointment book and a cell phone that is strickly for your business.

Give free and fair estimates.Think about how much you would be making if you were working for someone else, don't give estimates that are very much higher than that.

Be on time

Be reliable

Be honest

Be discreet

Get out there and hustle

Do an excellent job

These are the thing that I did when I started my service business and within 6 months, I was working every day. Cleaning for some really big names in the Country Music Industry. I would tell you who but it has been a few years and I don't have their permission to drop their names here...and besides that wouldn't be very discreet now would it?

Bird Dead Part Two

Okay, I am going to quickly finish up this story in addition to telling you the moral of the story.

Finally got the stripper ordered for the next evening, cleaned the oven...btw...oven cleaners have greatly improved since my last need to use them...anyway, was looking for my car keys in hope of avoiding the next inevitable question. You guessed it, I wasn't quite quick enough and before I could get one foot out of the door, Justin said "Momma, do you think that you could come back tomorrow and help me clean for the party?" I was thinking sure Justin, I would love to, can't think of any better way to spend my Saturday. However I left it at a simple yes son I will HELP. Thinking that I was seriously going to put my foot down and insist that he do it with my supervision.

I awoke at around 8 am, had my coffee, breakfast, watch some news. Finally around 9;30 or so I send him a text to find out if he is awake. Surprisingly he was, however he was not out of bed. I told him that I was gonna change clothes and be on my way. I packed up some cleaning supplies and hit the road, stopping along the way to pick up some carpet cleaner. I got there around 10 or so and he was outside smoking.

I went in and started surveying the surrounding to try to decide what was the highest priority. Went outside to discuss my plan with him. Okay I think we are on the same page at this point when he tells me that he knows it sounds crazy but he needs a shower....fine, whatever just get it done. He goes up stairs and I start in the kitchen. He comes down, tells me he has to go to the bank and to the store for party supplies. An two hours later he is back, I was on my hands and knees scrubbing violently at this carpet, partically because it is nasty but mostly because I am PISSED!

After I completed that, I go into the garage where he is trying to clean it up, The pool table is in there, plus that is where he put the keg when he came back from the store. He is just working himself to death out there and getting nowhere fast. I decide that although I had cleaned the inside of house by myself, I was going to help him. Yeah... I know! So I was picking up, vacuuming, not really busting it or anything. Just mostly staying busy because once I sit, he is pretty much done. So we get to the water heater and there is a very nice tarp folded near the water heater stand and Justin starts to pull it out and notices that there is a dead bird. Not sure how it had happened but the bird had been there for a few days and was decomposing and bird stuff was leaking onto this tarp. I wanted to throw it out but he was objecting so I told him to put it out in the yard and that I would spray it off with the hose. My youngest child and only daughter comes out around that time and ask us what was wrong with this tarp. My reponse was that it has bird dead on it. Ok they found this hilarious and even though I hadn't mean for it to be funny, I kinda chuckled about it. Kaitlin insisted I explain what bird dead was. Okay...here we go....It is what leaked out of the bird onto the tarp, It was not the bird body that was still hanging half on and half off of the water heater stand. Totally gross!


Now to the moral of this story. Never think you can go help your grown son clean his house. Go prepared to do it alone. If he was going to clean it at all, it would have never gotten that way in the first place :)

Bird Dead

My oldest son Justin stopped by after a long, hard day at work. Actually he hadn't even finished and had brought his laptop with him. I sat on the deck and watched him work and listened to him answer the phone calls that continually interrupted his typing. Finally after a couple of hours, he finishes up, closes up his laptop and we start talking about how hard he working, the fact that he is extremely tired after his latest doctor visit, in which he was prescribed blood pressure medication. He was telling me that a couple days before he went home, put a pizza in the oven, and proceeded to fall asleep on the couch. Two hours later he woke to the oven timer beeping persistently and a house full of smoke. He opened the windows and threw the burnt to a charcoal briquette pizza out the backdoor. Put another pizza in only to see flames shortly thereafter....sigh! Needless to say...I was totally freaked out by this. He asked if I would mind coming to his house to help him clean his oven. Of course I went over there right away, fearing he would just continue to try his luck with the oven as it was.

After spraying the self-cleaning oven....because I couldn't turn it on to clean as it was, we sat out back and had a beer. The conversation led to the fact that this coming weekend he and his brother were co-bestman at their friend's wedding.They needed to plan a bachelor party for the next night! What? The house was a neat but dirty,the carper atrocious, the baseboards disgusting. They wanted a stripper, a keg, some cigars, maybe play some poker, shot some pool, ya know the basic guy stuff. All with one day to plan!!! Lol....a stripper with one day notice??? Justin said "mom, I mean, where do you get a stripper?" So... we broke out the laptop and I found him a stripper! Stay tuned for the rest of the story :) Eventually I will get around to explaining the title of this story!
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